Nov 22
Happy Thanksgiving, my sweet readers! Have a wonderful break. Victory is ready for some yummy turkey and fixings! We are feeling really grateful! Have a delicious holiday! xoxoxo
“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” —William Arthur Ward
(Photo by Vanessa Rees for Saveur).
Nov 13
Patrick O’Malley, a grief therapist, who lost his infant son, wrote a beautiful Modern Love essay a few years ago. Also, somewhat recently, he came out with the book Getting Grief Right about how each person’s grief experience is different — and everyone’s story is worth telling. Below is his insightful advice…
What NOT to say
O’Malley points out that these sayings imply that there is timetable for grief:
“Time heals all wounds”
“You have to move on”
“Grief happens in stages”
“I hope you find closure”
These next phrases, he points out, are by-products of a culture that rewards positivity:
“He wouldn’t want you to be sad”
“It’s important to stay busy and productive”
“This will make you stronger”
“You have your whole life ahead of you”
“At least you’re young enough to have another child/remarry”
What to do and say
Here are some of O’Malley’s wonderful ideas of ways to help a grieving friend:
–Simply say, “I’m very sorry.”
–Bring a meal on the two-month anniversary of a death.
–Send an email to say you were thinking about the grieving person or the one they lost.
–When you are with the bereaved person, say the name of the one they lost.
–Do not assume there is a timeline to grief. An email a year after a loss could be more meaningful than one a week later.
–Remember the bereaved on holidays, birthdays, anniversaries or any day that you know has special meaning.
–Offer to visit, but always let the choice be that of the bereaved person. Offer, “I completely understand if the timing is not good.”
–Be curious about the grieving person’s relationship to the one they lost.
–Bring up your own memories.
–Offer to listen to a grieving person’s story. A bereaved person might be looking for a safe set of ears, a place for the story to land.
–Above all, make sure he/she knows that the one they lost has not been forgotten.
In the memoir Lament for a Son, a professor writes about the loss of his 25-year-old son, who died in a mountain climbing accident, which gave a true description of grief: “Rather often I am asked whether the grief remains as intense as when I wrote. The answer is, No. The wound is no longer raw. But it has not disappeared. That is as it should be. If he was worth loving, he is worth grieving over. Grief is existential testimony to the world of the one loved. That worth abides. So I own my grief. I do not try to put it behind me, to get over it, to forget it…Every lament is a love song.”
Also, from Anne Lamott: “Death; wow. So f-ing hard to bear, when the few people you cannot live without die. You will never get over these losses, and are not supposed to. We Christians like to think death is a major change of address, but in any case, the person will live fully again in your heart, at some point, and make you smile at the MOST inappropriate times. But their absence will also be a lifelong nightmare of homesickness for you. All truth is a paradox. Grief, friends, time and tears will heal you. Tears will bathe and baptize and hydrate you and the ground on which you walk.”
This video, Moving On, from Ainslie Henderson is so heartbreakingly beautiful and worth watching…
Oct 31
Happy Halloween! I cannot believe how quickly the time is flying by that it is already time for Halloween! Victory was a fifties girl last year; a lioness two years ago; a butterfly three years ago; a ladybug for her first Halloween, four years ago; and, this year, she is Wonder Woman, shown below! You can see over the past four years how much Victory has changed! Victory will help us hand out candy tonight in her costume, along with her pumpkin masterpiece carved by Doug, also shown below. Doug spent a few hours carefully and diligently working on his Halloween friendly ghost-themed pumpkin! Additionally, here are links to pumpkins carved by Doug last year; two years ago; three years ago; four years ago; and five years ago — mostly all dog-themed pumpkins!
We hope that you all have a wonderful Halloween!
Happy October! October is one of our favorite months of the year, and we cannot believe it is almost coming to an end! This month literally flew by. Below are some items that have occurred around here in October!
-still working on finishing final edits, which are very tedious, and continuing to work on the next steps concerning my long-term photography project.
-Doug and I celebrated 9 years of marriage!
-to celebrate our anniversary, we took a trip, with Victory, to the Shenandoah Valley! We had a wonderful time together!
-we celebrated Victory’s sixth birthday, commemorating her four years with us since her adoption from the Michigan Sheltie Rescue! We had a gold, white/ivory, with a splash of champagne themed birthday this year!
-we are excited to celebrate Halloween next week! Doug has his plan for carving our annual pumpkin; and Victory, shown below, is going to be Wonder Woman for Halloween this year — we truly believe she is our wonder girl!
-started back at yoga class this month, which has been great!
-enjoying date nights together! Doug and I are aiming to try at least one new restaurant a month to expand our horizons! This month we tried Sweet Nolas in Winchester, Virginia.
-enjoying time together outside. We have been taking more walks outside during the evenings, when it is cooler, and Victory still loves the walks while she rides in her Hound About!
-continuing to work on getting fine art prints made, framed, and hung in our home, an ongoing endeavor!
-began the second season of Fortitude, a good series.
-finished reading Cultivate by Lara Casey.
-listening to a myriad of podcasts, especially, at the gym and on walks!
-continuing to make incremental progress on our ever-growing to do list!
Happy Friday! Have a great weekend!
This past weekend we took a long weekend trip to the Shenandoah Valley with our fur girl, Victory, to celebrate our anniversary along with Victory’s birthday! Doug found a dog friendly pumpkin patch and animal farm, Hill High Farm, located in Virginia, for us to get this year’s pumpkins! Doug is still figuring out what he is going to carve on our pumpkin for Halloween this year! (Speaking of pumpkins, can you spot little Victory in the pumpkin below?) We also went to Black Draft, a dog friendly distillery in West Virginia where we had a private tour and tasting! We also took Victory to Zaxby’s in Winchester, Virginia, which she loved! We all love Zaxby’s and we wish one was located closer to our home. We first learned of Zaxby’s while we were in Charleston earlier this summer. Victory got a Kiddie Finger meal, shown below. (Of course, she just had some of the chicken, which she loved.) We also spent some time in Old Town Winchester, which had some cute shops to pursue. Through a friend’s recommendation, we found an excellent cajun, authentic New Orleans restaurant, Sweet Nola’s, where Victory got her own chicken and rice bowl on the house, which she actually ate at the restaurant, which is a first! The food was delicious! We enjoyed our time away together; and a few images from our trip are shown below. We hope to return again!
Happy Friday!
Nine years of marriage. 13 years together. You are my favorite human being. Life without you would be totally unfathomable. You are the most supportive and patient person I have ever met. I admire your character, steadfast patience, and your kindness that you show to everyone. Most of all, you are my very best friend. You are the greatest gift of my life, and each day spent with you is truly a gift. I look forward to many, many more years together, knowing that we can get through anything together. Happy anniversary, my love!
On Saturday evening we took Victory with us to Pups in the Park at the Nationals! This is our third year going to Pups in the Park with Victory! The weather was beautiful and we had a fun time together! Victory was brave and sniffed and met many dogs! However, we did not see any other shelties at this game. Victory also enjoyed part of a Shake Shack burger, which she loved! Below are some iPhone photos from our visit! We look forward to going back for more games next year and we plan to get Victory a Nationals’ jersey for future games!
Happy Friday! We’re headed to the Shenandoah Valley for a long weekend with our fur girl, Victory! Have a great weekend!
Mornings.
Over the past few months I have been rising in the mornings with Doug, around 4:45 a.m. At first it seemed quite early to rise, but I have adjusted; I pretty much wake up now on my own around this time, on most mornings during the work week, and even sometimes on the weekends. (We do make sure we go to bed early during the work week). I am working on final edits for my photography project, and I find that I work best in the early morning, versus other times of the day, while the entire the house is very quiet, Victory is back in our bed resting (after potty), and meanwhile, it is still dark outside. It is also nice to watch the sun rise. So if you are trying to get a project done or trying to find extra time in your day to get something done or begin something that you always wanted to do, I highly recommend utilizing the early mornings. You will be amazed how much you can actually accomplish during this time frame.
What I have found from this practice is that it is best to show up every single day, even when it’s hard. I have also found that it is best to suspend expectations and the be present and in the flow of work and not be occupied or concerned with what gets done or how. Some days you will be ‘in the zone’ and everything will flow; and other days, you will feel tired, the work will feel more difficult to wade through, and it feels like little progress is being made. Sometimes, however, when you hit a roadblock, it helps to step away and work on something else and come back to the issue that is giving you a problem or difficulty; giving space, during these times, will help the issue resolve, without much effort. It is amazing. Sometimes I will be stumped on an image that I have been working on for a long time, without resolve, and them I step away for a couple of days, and it finally resolves, i.e., I figure out what I need to do to make the image work. Nevertheless, just keep going. Roadblocks are not permanent, they are chance to persevere.
“I work all the time. I never leave home. I mean, I just stay honed in on what’s ahead.” — Sally Mann
“It is the thousand of days of trying, failing, sitting, thinking, resisting, dreaming, raveling, unraveling that we are at our most engaged, alert, and alive.” — Dani Shapiro
Happy September! Happy Fall! We cannot believe a new season is here, and it is almost October! We love the fall, one of our favorite seasons for various reasons! Below are some items that have occurred around here in September!
-finishing final edits and continuing to work on the next steps concerning my long-term photography project.
-Doug and I celebrated 13 years together from our first date this month! The time goes by too quickly!
-we went to a Navy football game at the Naval Academy, in Annapolis, which was great fun and we had beautiful, fall like, weather! The Navy even won!
-this weekend we are taking Victory to Pups in the Park again at the Nationals!
-Doug started taking a French class this month, which he is enjoying greatly!
-we had plans/reservations to return to Dewey Beach this month, but with Hurricane Irma, and the forecast up the coast, we decided to postpone for another time.
-enjoying date nights together! Doug and I are aiming to try at least one new restaurant a month to expand our horizons! This month we tried a few new restaurants: Vin909, in Eastport, (which took over, a while back, for a restaurant, the Wild Orchid, which we loved); Founding Farmers, in Tysons Corner, a new favorite, which we both loved; and we made it to Tupleo Honey in Arlington (Rosslyn) with Victory, (which we were introduced to in Raleigh, North Carolina), which was excellent!
-enjoying time together outside. We have been taking more walks outside during the evenings, when it is cooler, and Victory still loves the walks while she rides in her Hound About! In fact, we have done so many walks, that the Hound About needs new tires, which we ordered!
-we got small drywall repairs; painting; and caulking done around the house as a result of our home settling since being built and ongoing construction near our home.
-we got our home ready for fall with mums, fall wreaths, and candles etc.
-we are getting ready for Victory’s 6th Birthday next month! (We cannot believe that Victory, our sweet fur girl, has been with us for four years already, commemorated on her birthday!)
-we are getting ready for Halloween — we have Victory’s costume!
-continuing to work on getting fine art prints made, framed, and hung in our home, an ongoing endeavor!
-finished watching the second season of Witnesses, an excellent French series.
-began the first season of Fortitude, a good series.
-began reading Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown, a really good read so far!
-listening to a myriad of podcasts, especially, at the gym and on walks!
-continuing to make incremental progress on our ever-growing to do list!
Happy Wednesday!
Earlier this summer, when I was done editing the images our trips, I wanted to create Sticky9 photo magnets for our refrigerator/freezer, only to find out that they had gone out of business in June. Therefore, I had to find another option and, after researching, I found Fox Print located in California. These magnets are individual photo magnets and they are 2.5 x 2.5 inches and similar thickness as the Sticky9 photo magnets. I found the print quality and resolution to be better than Sticky9. (However, I do miss having nine images together, which was an option at Sticky9.) So, this has been the next best option that I have been able to find, thus far. We still have a little bit of surface area on of refrigerator/freezer remaining, and these photo magnets fit perfectly in the space remaining on our refrigerator/freezer! You can also easily change out the magnets and update photos. They make great gifts as well! Below is an iPhone image containing a sampling of some of the images I had made into magnets!
Happy Tuesday!
biscuit's space | The blog of photographer Katherine Carver 