Thoughts on Becoming a Mom

I am only a little over six months in to being a new mom to a little human who relies on us for everything, and I have recently reflected on how my life has changed, literally over night.  The biggest change I have experienced has been learning to plan on the unexpected, always.  Our little baby runs our entire house these days!  There is becoming a little more predictability to our days, but most days our lives are pretty unpredictable and we have learned to adjust and go with our little baby’s flow.  Honesty, it was difficult at first, but really learning to let go and surrender is easier than having resistance to something you cannot change.

Everything in our lives takes more planning and coordination.  We were so used to picking up and going wherever whenever, and just going to the gym, the grocery store, or even taking a shower is more involved these days.  Doug and I have learned to tag-team so that we can still get some things done, while one of us cares for the baby.  It just take a bit more forethought on our part!

We do not get as much done as we used to because caring for a baby takes a lot of time and work.  As a result, everything takes much longer to complete these days.  We do the best that we can, and “our best” can vary from day to day, and that is okay.  When we are not so tired, we take advantage of chunks of time during her naps and while she is asleep for the night, to get some things done, when we can.  We have learned to be really efficient with these pockets of time.  The baby just recently started sleeping through the night after we let her cry it out for several nights since the pediatrician said she is more than capable, as she is six month old and the size of an average 10 month old girl!  (This Zen Sack has been great for he sleep, too.  It feels like she is being hugged at night, since she is outgrowing the swaddles.)  It was hard to do, but we all need sleep and rest!  It is amazing, to me, how much these little beings know and can predict!  I think when we all are getting consistent good sleep at night, we will all feel better and more well rested, too!

Time has taken on a while new meaning for us.  Life is going slower and much faster simultaneously, if that makes any sense.  There are periods where things feel slow; and in contrast, there are periods when the time is flying by all of a sudden.  It is pretty neat to see our little cherub change from literally one day to the next.  For instance, she was sitting a little wabbly for several days and then suddenly, she was sitting on her own unassisted consistently about a week and a half ago!  It is very neat to witness.  It was also fun to see her eat her first foods and get her first teeth, especially once they cracked the gums!  We also discovered the other night that she is extremely ticklish and she has the most wonderful laugh!  Alex and I could not stop laughing while I ticked her little arm pits — she thought it was hysterical!  There is so much change that occurs in a very short amount of time.  Our baby is constantly changing, and so are we as a result.  I cannot do it all, but I have committed to photographing our little baby and family on a regular basis along with completing the Promptly Journal, which I love, and think it will be neat to read and look at with her someday!  I want to have a record of this time, as it is fleeting, and will only happen once.  So I do my best to photograph and write about it, so I will remember.

I have learned to be more patient.  Doug has always been extremely patient and he is so good with our baby!  Our baby is teaching me to be more patient in many ways.  She has made me bend in ways I never knew, and I am sure this will continue!  My brain is constantly going, and I have learned to focus and change gears on a dime.  After delivery, my doctor told me the “mom brain” is a real thing — your brain actually physically changes when you have a baby.  I never knew this to be true, but it is and I have felt like I have had “mom brain” many times!

Importantly, we have learned to make time for each other and self-care, which is not always easy.  We found a couple of great sitters to watch Alex, and we aim for a date night once a month right now!  It is nice to have some uninterrupted time to ourselves, even for a little while!  We also have more help with our baby now, which has been life-changing for us.  (There were many days I felt like an exhausted zombie from lack of sleep and providing constant, round the clock care.)  Additionally, Doug and I try to give each other breaks, when we can, so we can each have a little bit of time to do things we like to do on our own.

We are having fun!  Each day is quite literally an adventure and we are embracing it all.  When we are with Alex, we are present.  Time is our currency, as we will never get this time back with her.  Most of all, I have a new perspective, I am constantly learning, and my heart has grown so much; I love our baby to the moon and back and I love our little family!  I especially love our baby’s smile, her laugh, her eyes, and how she lights up when she sees her Daddy and sister, Victory!  We are staying present and look forward to seeing our little baby grow up right before our eyes.  Motherhood is an exciting adventure, that I am so thankful to have, and I would not trade anything.  I do not take anything for granted.  Although it is too early to tell, I think she is going to be strong.  She knows how she likes things, but she is pretty content most of the time!  We waited a long time to meet her, and she arrived at just the right time!  We are incredibly grateful to have a healthy, thriving, and beautiful baby who loves her sister, Victory!  We are extremely blessed, and it is a privilege to be Alex’s Mamma!