Skip to content

Posts from the ‘For Artists’ Category

Juggling Act

I came across this really interesting concept relating to juggling work and kids. Someone asked Nora Roberts how to balance writing and kids, and she said that the key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic and some are made of glass. And, if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces, no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, it shatters, so you have to know which balls are glass and which are plastic and prioritize catching the glass ones. Nora was not talking about juggling five balls. She was talking about juggling 55 balls. The balls don’t represent “family” or “work.” There are separate balls for everything that goes into each of those categories. “Deadline on project Y” or “crazy sock day at school.”

And her point was not to “prioritize kids over work.” It was some kid stuff is glass and some is plastic, and sometimes, to catch a glass work ball, you have to drop a plastic family one, and that is okay. And the reverse is also true. Sometimes, to catch a glass kid ball, something at work has to slide, and that is okay, too. If you are juggling 55 balls, some are going to drop, so you have to focus not on broad categories, but on the glass balls.

This concept was so freeing for me. You don’t have to find perfect balance; and I do not think that balance truly exists, as things are constantly changing and shifting daily. I just have to try to figure out which balls are okay to drop on any given day, the plastic ones, and catch the glass ones before they break. Sometimes, things just slip, and we can give ourselves grace, and try again the following day!

What is Grit?

You might already be familiar with Angela Duckworth’s relatively recent book, titled, “Grit – The Power of Passion and Perseverance,” along with her TED Talk, which has been viewed over 23 million times.

So, what is “Grit?” According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, grit in the context of behavior is defined as “firmness of character; indomitable spirit.” Duckworth, based on her studies, tweaked this definition to be “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.” 

However, Duckworth’s research is conducted in the context of exceptional performance and success in the traditional sense, so requires it be measured by test scores, degrees, and medals over an extended period of time. Specifically, she explores this question, talent and intelligence/IQ being equal: why do some individuals accomplish more than others? The characteristics of grit, outlined below, include Duckworth’s findings as well as some that defy measurement.


While courage is difficult to measure, it is directly proportional to your level of grit. More specifically, your ability to manage fear of failure is imperative and a predicator of success. The supremely gritty are not afraid to tank, but rather embrace it as part of a process. They understand that there are valuable lessons in defeat and that the vulnerability of perseverance is requisite for high achievement.

Conscientiousness: Achievement Oriented vs. Dependable

According to Duckworth, of the five personality traits, (Openness, Conscientiousness, Extroversion, Agreeableness, and Neurotic), conscientiousness is the most closely associated with grit. However, it seems that there are two types, and how successful you will be depends on what type you are.  Conscientiousness in this context means, careful and painstaking; meticulous.

The achievement-oriented individual is one who works tirelessly, tries to do a good job, and completes the task at hand, whereas the dependable person is more notably self-controlled and conventional. In other words, in the context of conscientious, grit, and success, it is important to commit to go for the gold rather than just show up for practice. 

Long-Term Goals and Endurance: Follow Through

It is important to note that long-term goals play an important role. Duckworth writes:

“… achievement is the product of talent and effort, the latter a function of the intensity, direction, and duration of one’s exertions towards a long-term goal.”

Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours theory and Duckworth’s findings align to the hour. However, one of the distinctions between someone who succeeds and someone who is just spending a lot of time doing something is this: practice must have purpose. That’s where long-term goals come in. They provide the context and framework in which to find the meaning and value of your long-term efforts, which helps cultivate drive, sustainability, passion, courage, stamina, and grit.

Resilience: Optimism, Confidence, and Creativity

Of course, in pursuing a long-term goal, you likely will stumble, and you will need to find a way to get back up. But what is it that gives you the strength to get up? Resilience. So, while a key component of grit is resilience, resilience is the powering mechanism that draws your head up, moves you forward, and helps you persevere despite whatever obstacles you face along the way.  In other words, gritty people believe, “everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end.”

Excellence vs. Perfection

In general, gritty people don’t seek perfection, but instead strive for excellence. In general, perfection is someone else’s perception of an ideal, and pursuing it is like chasing a hallucination.

Excellence is an attitude, not an endgame. The word excellence is derived from the Greek word Arête which is bound with the notion of fulfillment of purpose or function and is closely associated with virtue. It is far more forgiving, allowing and embracing failure and vulnerability on the ongoing quest for improvement. It allows for disappointment, and prioritizes progress over perfection.

So, how much grit do you have? You can find out here!

Thought for the Day

Creativity — like human life itself — begins in darkness. We need to acknowledge this. All too often, we think only in terms of light: “And then the lightbulb went on and I got it!” It is true that insights may come to us as flashes. It is true that some of these flashes may be blinding. It is, however, also true that such bright ideas are preceded by a gestation period that is interior, murky, and completely necessary. —Julia Cameron, artist, author, teacher, filmmaker, composer, and journalist.

And One More Thing Before You Go . . .

My good friend recently shared this book with me, And One More Thing Before You Go …by Maria Shriver, and I absolutely loved it!  This little book grew out of a speech Maria gave at a mother-daughter luncheon.  A few of my favorite quotes from this book are shown below.  I hope that they provide some inspiration for you!

“Well trust me on this: it’s okay to be scared.  And not only is fear okay, its a good thing.  Our fear gives us wisdom.  It lets us know we’re confronting something new.”

“So even if you don’t plan on making history, remember: Fear is normal.  Fear is common.  And it keeps coming back.”

“As you dive into your own future, remember this: If you feel afraid, it means you’re alive.  That good.  Now use it.”

“Don’t lock yourself up and throw away the key.  Don’t be so rigid that you can’t change your plans.  Be willing to change your plans.  Be willing to change, to adapt.  Be willing to switch direction and strike out on a new path if you want.  Or if, like me, you have to.”

“The sad truth is, girls and women often think they’re not allowed to screw up.  They think they have to be perfect.  Let me tell you another thing: Perfectionism doesn’t make you perfect.  It only makes you feel bad about yourself, because no one can ever be perfect, including you.”

“Don’t sell yourself short by being so afraid of failure you don’t dare to make any mistakes.  Make your mistakes and learn from them.  And remember — no matter how many mistakes you make, your mother always loves you!”

“And if you think about it, most of the people you admire — people you know, people you’ve studied, those who’ve changed the world — have also suffered and struggled and fought with great courage to overcome obstacles.”

“Believe me, it’s fair.  It’s not only fair, it’s the way life is.  First you’re happy, and then you go through a time of struggle.  And then there’s smooth sailing, and then the rough ride begins again.  Over and over again.  That’s the way a good life is meant to be.”

“Along with love, courage is what you need more than anything in this life.  In tough times it tells you, ‘I can go through this!’  Even when it feels like you can’t.”

“When you feel down, when you’re having tough times, when you think you simply don’t have the strength and courage to go through something or just to press on — think about your mother or any Important Woman in your life.  Think of her strength and her courage and what she’s had to go through in her life.”

“Balance means weighing and measuring your priorities to put together a life that fulfills you on your own terms, not society’s expectations of you, one way or the other.  And balance also means recalibrating your priorities when you need and want to. ”

“Weigh out your competing priorities and see how you can fulfill them over time, without making yourself insane with guilt.  If you achieve that balance, that’ll make all of us older women envious of you — and proud.”

“Gratitude lifts your spirit.  It takes you right out of yourself and into a different plane.”

“When you’re stuck in self-pity or envy or worry, try getting grateful for something in your life.  It’s good for the soul.”

“Mentors are generous with their time and wisdom because they see in you something of themselves, and they want to help it flower.”

“Keep part of your childhood alive in you — the part that is curious, asks questions, and is willing to find and cultivate relationships with the people who can answer them.”

“Everyone of us can make a difference.  Everyone can be the difference in the lives of someone else.  And when we are — trust me, it feels like a million bucks.”

“Oh, and one more thing before you go: Have fun, laugh, and enjoy yourself.  It’ll be a blast.”


Lessons Learned: Creative Endeavor


I have been working on my long-term photography project for a really long time.  I am in the midst of finishing the final phase of revisions, after much work.  Recently, during this time, I have reflected upon the process, thus far, of bringing forth this work to fruition; and below are some lessons I have learned.

1.  Have the courage to start your project.  I found fear always showed itself, and continues, at every stage of creating this work.  You can let the fear be present, with you, but you should not surrender to it.  The War of Art by Steven Pressfield is a great read on this subject.  There were many times that I felt fear, I do still feel fear, but I did and do my best to convince myself that I can keep going even though I do not know what lies on the other side.  So, if you love doing the work, mastering your craft, find the courage to do the work and remain passionate and curious.

2. Be Open.  When you start a creative endeavor, you may have one idea on how you think the work will take shape; however, be open and see where the work takes and guides you, which might be different.  For me, the work expanded in ways that I could not initially foresee at first.  I also found that there are many unanticipated twists and turns you need to navigate, which you cannot anticipate at the outset of starting a creative endeavor.  While creating this work, there were many twists and turns that presented themselves that I had to figure out and overcome to finish the body of work.  Thus, I learned that I had to be creative and determined to press on, no matter what.

3. Everything takes more time than you think.  I have been working on this body of work for over six years.  (I think most people likely would have given up long ago!)  Life happens all the while, and we experienced multiple life events during this time, including: selling a house; building a house; two moves; losing our beloved Biscuit; adopting our rescue, Victory, who joined our family; experiencing great loss; and welcoming our biggest collaboration, the addition of our baby Alex!  As a result, I would have thought going into this that I would have been done long ago.  However, I learned that things take much longer than you might initially anticipate, and it is good to know this going into any creative project.  I also find it helpful not to focus on the time and to have the mantra, in this final stage, “to take it a day at a time and an image at a time.”  And, there seems to be endless revisions, but then you finally settle at the place where you know the work is done, and I cannot wait to reach this place!

4. Mistakes happen.  Invariably, mistakes happen while undertaking a large project.  I certainly had my share, I likely still will, and I had to learn either how to work with them or how to improve to cure the ‘mistakes.’  Additionally, I learned that everything is ‘figureoutable,’ no matter what.

5. Find trustworthy people to review your work.  I have found that it has been invaluable to me to obtain feedback on my work, at various stages, in order to continue to refine and revise the body of work.

6. Allow the muse show up.  There were times when I was working, trying to figure something out, and when I worked too hard or when I agonized, I was unable to resolve the issue, which was extremely frustrating.  However, when I stepped back, asked the Universe for help — the muse showed up during times where I had no idea how I was able to get the image where it needed to be — it was magical and I was able to resolve the issue at hand in no time.  These are moments of pure bliss.

7. Push yourself.  Inspiration does not come knocking every day, as we all know.  You have to keep going at it yourself, too.  In order to pursue something creative, you must also work at it unassisted by inspiration and push yourself and your boundaries.  I dedicate time in my schedule, almost weekly, to work on this body of work.  There were, along the way, periods of rest, too.  I worked bit by bit, little by little, for a really long time, which I continue.  What I keep in mind, is that if you work like this consistently, the work quickly adds up– and finally one day the revisions are done and you are finished, the greatest gift.  One of my favorite quotes by Sally Mann, “There is a great quote from a female writer.  She said, ‘If you don’t break out in a sweat of fear when you write, you are not writing well enough.’   I tend to agree.  I think my best pictures come when I push myself.”

8. Be persistent.  If you are going to do any long-term project, you must be persistent, and not give up.  As mentioned above, life happens, and things, for me, are even more challenging getting this work finished with a baby; however, it is not impossible.  You have to find a way to keep going in the midst of it all and not let life or setbacks stop you from finishing.  Creating this body of work is so challenging and rewarding simultaneously.  I found that creating this body of work was much more difficult than attending law school, in so many ways.  In fact, it is one of the most challenging undertakings I have done.  At the inception of this project, I was incredibly naive about how involved this project would actually become.  Looking back, I suppose this was a blessing at the time.

9. Choose to trust.  You must have faith and trust while working on any creative endeavor, which, I know, is easier said than done.  It is like having a daily a blind faith and optimism that things will somehow work out, while still enjoying the process and the journey, while living in the unknown.

10. Let go of a specific outcome of the work.  The idea for this project came to me during the summer of 2012.  I will never forget the day the idea came to me, prior to leaving for our trip with Biscuit to Nova Scotia, and I thought I might actually be able to create this body of work.  I am not sure of the specific outcome, but finishing is the greatest reward for me right now.

This, outlined above, is what I have learned, thus far; I am sure there will be many more lessons learned in the next phase of this process and journey.

“The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.  The hunt to uncover those jewels — that’s creative living.  The courage to go on that hunt in the first place — that’s what separates a mundane existence from a more enchanted one.  The often surprising result of that hunt — that’s what I call Big Magic.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

Basic Phone Guidelines – Leading to Greater Fulfillment


I did not get my first cell phone until I was in my early twenties while in law school.  I did not get my first iphone until 2014, and we were likely the last ones of our peers to get an iphone/smart phone.  However, with the great convenience, the phone can be addictive at times, even with little time.  Here are some simple guidelines, shown below, which I have implemented, leading to greater joy and fulfillment.

Guideline #1: Be present with Alex, Doug, and Victory

The first guideline came about when Alex was born, when my life initially felt very disorienting with such a big change.  Every mom told me to enjoy my maternity leave and that the time with Alex would go by way too fast, which is very true.  I limited and continue to limit my iphone usage to be present, as this time only happens once with Alex and I do not want to miss it.  During the times I am with Alex, other than using my iphone to snap a few photos or take a few short videos, I put my phone away.  In fact, I learned my lesson as Alex recently got hold of my iphone and disabled it and put it in German!  Yikes!  She thinks the iphone and ipad are very captivating.  Also, when Doug and I actually get to spend some uninterrupted time together, we put the phones away, which is really nice and liberating.  Putting the phone away has really allowed me to focus on the moment and to be fully present.

Guideline #2: Be Bored from Time to Time

There is not a lot of time to be bored these days, but there are instances where it is really easy to grab the iphone and start checking email, social media, etc.  So, I try to let myself be bored from time to time.  Whenever I am waiting in a line, waiting for an appointment, or waiting for anything in general, my immediate compulsion is to take out my iphone and go through my email, social media, etc., which is what most others are doing as well.  During those moments of not being occupied by anything else, I see things and I take an opportunity to just rest and be.

Guideline #3: Have Fun and be Present on Vacations

During vacations, outside of taking some quick photos on the iphone, which is sometimes easier versus bringing out my camera, I severely limit my iphone use during vacations as well.  It really is a delightful break from everything and allows you to really enjoy your vacation and be present.

Guideline #4: Give My iphone an Early Bedtime in a Different Room

My final guideline is very life changing.  When I get ready for bed myself, in the evening, I put my phone away in my office and do not check it until the morning.  I find that it makes for much better sleep and a much needed break; and I usually try and read, edit photos, watch a TV show, or visit with Doug before bed.  I am previously guilty of getting sucked into looking at email and social media before bed, and before I knew it, an hour had passed, which I wasted.  Additionally, the light of our phones suppresses melatonin, which makes falling asleep more challenging, too.  Also, most mornings, Alex and Doug are usually my alarm clock to get up; and I actually have an alarm clock instead of relying on the phone’s alarm, in order to keep the phones out of the bedroom.

I hope these guidelines might help you!

Happy Tuesday!

Interview: Lydia Sohn, Writer and Minister

Interview with Lydia Sohn, Writer and Minister

Recently, I had the opportunity and pleasure of interviewing Lydia Sohn, a writer, minister, and speaker who lives in San Diego, California with her husband and young son.  I fell in love with Lydia’s blog last fall, when I discovered her wonderful blog chalked full of wisdom, that I look forward to reading each week.  Below, Lydia shares her thoughts on creativity!  You can learn more about Lydia here.


KATHERINE CARVER: How did your journey lead you to becoming a minister and writer?

LYDIA SOHN: It all happened very naturally.  Neither were careers I considered for myself, even up until my college years.  Looking back, of course, it makes complete sense because spirituality and writing were always sources of great joy for me.  And then I experienced a lot of resistance towards the ministry once I did have an inkling that might be the path for me.  I grew up in a fairly conservative church with only male ministers around me.  I didn’t even think women could be ministers for most of my life, much less young women! 

Writing as a profession came with less resistance but there was still a lot of self-doubt.  I thought one had to be a bookish introvert with certain literary tastes to be a “real writer” but I eventually discovered that to be false as I began to write regularly and for the public.  With both of these careers, one step simply followed the next and the outcomes unraveled organically. 


KATHERINE CARVER: What artists/writers inspire you?

LYDIA SOHN: Julia Cameron was really the first artist/writer to release the writer within me through her books, The Right to Write and The Artist’s Way.  Prior to reading those books, I relied upon a lot of external validation to legitimate my craft.  Those books empowered me to write simply because I wanted to and for no other reason than that.  She suggests these powerful exercises that help the artist with every person emerge. 

Before Julia Cameron though, my writing style had been greatly influenced by Lauren Winner and Anne Lammott because both of them are spiritual authors who activated a latent desire and potential within me to articulate my own spiritual journey. 

More recently, I have been so greatly nourished by Elizabeth Gilbert and her ideas about creativity.  Much of her ideas about creativity are in her book, Big Magic, but she also riffs on these ideas a lot in her talks, interviews and podcast.  She’s similar to Julia Cameron in that she believes that what we long to write about pre-exists so it’s not something we have to think up but rather, listen closely and download.  I find this idea to be incredibly liberating because it takes the pressure off of us to produce amazing ideas.  We just need to follow our curiosity, observe where it takes us and then document it. 



KATHERINE CARVER: Do you have any rituals and/or practice that you implement while writing?

LYDIA SOHN: Yes, I rely greatly on time-blocking to get all of my writing done.  I am a big fan of the Pomodoro Technique.  I discovered it when I was juggling a lot of different projects and it’s the only thing that has enabled me to keep writing and a full-time job while at the same time, raise a small child.


KATHERINE CARVER: Do you have any favorite, go-to books for inspiration?

LYDIA SOHN: I definitely have a canon of books that have changed my life and return to whenever I want to be re-grounded.  Included in this canon are Eckart Tolle’s The Power of Now and Parker Palmer’s Let Your Life Speak.  A book that radically helped my marriage is Alison Armstrong’s The Queen’s Code.  Another book that was a godsend is Intuitive Eating.  I struggled with an eating disorder after I graduated from college and that book put my debilitating struggle to an end.  It also transformed my entire worldview and moral philosophy.  You have to read the book to know what I’m talking about. 



KATHERINE CARVER: How do you not let fear hinder you from beginning a new endeavor?

LYDIA SOHN: I have so much fear and so much doubt when I’m about to begin a new endeavor!  What soothes my anxiety is a belief that what will be will be.  Another Elizabeth Gilbert idea I love is that we as artists and designers of our own lives must do what we can on our ends but we have to let God (or the universe, whatever metaphysical reality that resonates with you) take care of the rest.  The way she puts it is, “our labor is the contribution to the miracle.”  In that way, I do my due diligence by being faithful to my responsibilities and then let God take over the rest.  If it’s meant to be, it will unravel accordingly.  If it’s not meant to be, doors will close fairly quickly.  God is so good to me in giving me really helpful signs to guide me and show me which endeavors I’m supposed to pursue and which I’m endeavors I’m supposed to let go of. 


KATHERINE CARVER: What inspires you to keep going and what keeps you motivated daily? 

LYDIA SOHN: What inspires me to keep going is a sense of deep joy and fulfillment I derive from my work.  I do the work I do now—ministry and writing—because it fulfills me so much and I feel that they are the perfect channels for expressing my interests and strengths.  There is perfect alignment with my internal desires and my external work so it’s easy to just keep going.  My work becomes a grind when there’s misalignment in some way or I’m over-working.  Whenever I notice myself avoiding or resenting my work, I take those as clues to look closer to see where I’m misaligned with a certain project or whether I just need some more rest.



KATHERINE CARVER: How has becoming a mom impacted your creativity, writing, and ministering?

LYDIA SOHN: Parenting is the most awe-inspiring and at the same time, challenging experience of my life.  This experience then, inevitably provides abundant material for me to reflect, write and preach about.  It has been said by many parents that our love for our children gives us a clarifying lens through which to understand God’s love for us a little more.  This has most certainly been the case for me.  Whereas before parenting, I spent most of my life striving to earn God’s love and favor, I soon realized after I had my son that God’s love and favor have been with me from the very beginning, and is non-negotiable.  In that way then, my life is no longer a test with loaded temptations but rather, a generous gift for me to enjoy. 

Being a working mom has also helped me to create better boundaries.  I am much better at saying “no” to projects or commitments I’m not fully passionate about because if I’m not protective of my time, I will wear myself down and subsequently, hurt my family.

And finally, because I’m a type-A kind of personality who derives a lot of satisfaction from work and productivity, parenting has forced me to slow down and trust in the process of life; to focus less on producing and focus more on being present.  I know I only get one chance to parent each phase of my son’s life and I won’t ever be able to rewind time so this reminds me to be here fully. 



KATHERINE CARVER: You help people cultivate their authentic selves.  What advice do you have for others trying to do this?

LYDIA SOHN: Oh my goodness, I teach an entire workshop series on this so it’s hard for me to encapsulate it here now.  In a nutshell, the theme is: march to the beat of your own drum.  Stop measuring your value and worth based on others and social expectations.  Follow your joy and align with your own values, not others’.  And if you don’t know what those are because you’re so disconnected from your true self, observe what lights you up and fulfills you and start doing them.  Take small steps and slowly, those small steps will open up an entire path for you.  I’m going to release some workbooks that give step-by-step instructions on how to do all of this so subscribe to if you want to be in the know about those workbooks. 


KATHERINE CARVER: You have some of the most thoughtful blog posts, which I find to be especially helpful.  How do your blog ideas come to you?

LYDIA SOHN: They come to me in exactly the same way that Elizabeth Gilbert and Julia Cameron describe.  I don’t sit down and think them up.  They come to me at the most random and odd times, like when I’m driving or at 5 a.m. in the morning.  They are, of course, ideas I’m experiencing in my own life so those ideas are not external to me but the way those ideas coalesce together and show themselves to me feel like a process that’s external to me. 



KATHERINE CARVER: One of my favorite blog posts you have written was on the topic of surrender.  How has a practice of surrender impacted you personally?

LYDIA SOHN: If I didn’t practice surrendering in my life, my whole life would be a major struggle.  I love to control my life and its outcomes.  Part of this is a sign of healthy self-confidence because I really do see myself as the agent and artist of my own life, which I believe God has bestowed upon all humans to craft as they wish.  At the same time, I have to hold this truth in balance with the other truth that there are some things in life we can’t control.  Along with that, God’s ways and perspectives are so much greater than our own so I continually remind myself to trust that my life will unfold according to God’s timing and ways rather than my own.  As frustrated as I get, it is ultimately marvelous that there’s something so much bigger than us with a greater wisdom and perspective who always guides us. 


KATHERINE CARVER: What is your favorite quote and why is this your favorite quote?

LYDIA SOHN: I just love Marianne Williamson’s famous words, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” Of course, the entire paragraph from which this sentence comes from is amazing but this little sentence is the one that always stays with me.  One’s inner light is a theme in almost all religious traditions, including my own, Christianity, and Jesus says something similar to Marianne when he says, “You are the light of the world.  A city built on a hill cannot be hidden.  No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house.” (Matthew 5:14-16).

The reason why I derive so much comfort from these words is because I struggle a lot with the “who am I” kind of thinking.  Who am I to be doing what I love and pursuing my dreams when there are so many people struggling and suffering out there?  This kind of thinking probably derives from my conservative Christian background that glamorizes suffering and sacrificing your dreams and comfort for the sake of others.  Intellectually, I know that this is all crap and that life doesn’t actually work like that yet of course, it’s a long process to let go of entrenched beliefs one was raised with. 


KATHERINE CARVER: What advice do you have for living a creative life? 

LYDIA SOHN: Follow your joy.  If you don’t consider yourself a creative person or don’t know where to start, I would recommend beginning with small projects so as to not overwhelm or intimidate you.  Try the Pomodoro Technique.  So if you want to write, just do it 25 minutes a day on a random subject like what your kitchen looks like in the morning.  If you want to dance and have stopped, just do it a few minutes each day or once a week.  As hard as it may be, try to detach yourself from what others think of your work.  It’s natural that we should want to refine our crafts but don’t let others’ perception of your work determine whether or not you pursue it.  If it gives you joy, then that’s the whole point, the only point. 



All images are courtesy of Lydia Sohn.

You can read more interviews here.

Accept: Quote of the Day


It has been an incredibly chaotic week here, and I came across this quote this week from one of my favorite books by Rachel Snyder, that really resonated with me, and maybe it will with you, too.  Happy Thursday!

Accept – Recognize what you can change and what you can’t.  In every moment, accept that everything is as it should be.  Accept that your body is round and fat and glorious.  Just love it.  Accept that you don’t do things the way everyone else does.  Just embrace it.  Accept that sometimes your belly hurts, sometimes you don’t have enough money to pay the light bill, sometimes life is hard.  Just cry and move through it.  Accept that you can’t do it all — and who would want to anyway?  Accept a kind word.  Don’t apologize.  Accept a gift — no matter how big, how small.  Say Thank you without embarrassment.  Accept that life isn’t always fair and find the wonder in that, too.  Don’t accept things that aren’t yours, like misdirected shame and blame.  Like credit for someone else’s accomplishment.  Like disrespect.  Accept everything you are and nothing you are not.”

Good Read: Rest


Recently between feedings, naps, and reading before bed, when I can, I recently finished reading, Rest by Alex Soojung-Kim Pang.  It was a good read and also enlightening and insightful, especially entering this year, 2019, where I hope to make more time for rest, despite having a baby, where things always seem quite busy.  The premise of the book is how rest and work are integrally connected and that you actually can be more creative and efficient when one gets proper rest.  I highly recommend it, for all, especially creative persons!  It certainly changed my perspective on rest, work, and creativity.  I think dogs have a great perspective on rest that we can learn from as well!  Some favorite quotes from this book are shown below!

“…it is not constant effort that delivers results but a kind of constant, patient, unhurried focus that organizes the investigator’s attention when at work and is present but watchful during periods of ease.  Devoting yourself only to the first and neglecting the second might make you more productive in the short run but will make your work less profound in the long run.”

“Figures as different as Charles Dickens, Henri Poincaré, and Ingmar Bergman, working in disparate fields in different times, all shared a passion for their work, a terrific ambition to succeed, and an almost super human capacity to focus.  Yet when you look closely at their daily lives, they only spent a few hours a day doing what we would recognize as their most important work.  The rest of the time, they were hiking mountains, taking naps, going on walks with friends, or just sitting and thinking.  Their creativity and productivity, in other words, were not the result of endless hours of toil.  Their touring creative achievements result from modest ‘working’ hours.”

“We think of routine as the opposite of creativity: things done by routine require little thought and leave no room for creative interpretation of flexibility.  In reality, German sociologists Sandra Ohly, Sabine Sonnentag, and Franziska Pluntke argue, routines can enhance creativity.”

“A combination of routine and freedom, a world laid out to support creative work while reducing unnecessary distractions and peripheral decisions, nicely describes the world that focused moorings and routines make.  And if creativity is supported by routine, rest is absolutely dependent on it.”

“In order to keep rest from being invaded by work or crowded our of your day by a long to-do list, you need to use your routine like a fortification to protect your time.  That same routine also lets you get more done and makes you more creative.  It’s another example of how work and rest are subtly connected and mutually reinforcing.”

“Naps can provide an opportunity to have new ideas.  The studies show that you can learn to time your nap to increase the creative boost that it provides, make it more physically restorative, or probe the traffic between the conscious mind and unconscious mind.  Napping, in other words, turns out to be a skill.”

“Frank Lloyd Wright likewise advised architecture students that in the afternoon ‘a short nap was a must,’ as it ‘divided one day into two and helped to refuel the creative spirit.'”

“Dalí argues that the real work of painting happens while the artist sleeps, particularly in the nights before starting a new painting.  He urges readers not to regard this sleep as a period of ‘inactivity and indifference.’  To the contrary: ‘It’s precisely during this sleep,’ he says, ‘that you will secretly in the very depths of your spirit, solve most of its subtle and complicated technical problems, which in your state of waking consciousness you would never be humanly capable of solving.’  It is in the dream that ‘the principal part — that is to say the sleep — of the work is already done.'”

“Naps are powerful tools for recovering our energy and focus.  We can even learn to tailor them to give us more of a creative boost, or provide more physical benefit, or explore the ideas that emerge at the boundary between consciousness and sleep.”

“The deliberate stop also makes you more productive over the long run.  Many writers start their careers believing that the best work is done in bursts of inspiration only to discover that they do higher-quality work and get more done if they pace themselves.”

“Creative work is a marathon, not a sprint, as writer (and marathoner) Haruki Murakami put it.  In both running and writing, ‘once you set the pace, the rest will follow,’ Murakami says.  ‘The problem is getting the flywheel to spin at a set speed — and get to that point takes as much concentration and effort as you can manage.”‘

“Whether they’ve looked at memories of creative people or measured the effectiveness of breaks on performance on divergence tests, they’ve found that breaks provide a fairly consistent boost to creative thinking.”

“But you don’t do great work by sprinting to the finish; you’re more likely to accomplish great things by stopping at a strategic point and continuing the next day.”

“Sleep turns out to be important for the maintenance of the brain’s physical health and the growth of new brain cells.  It’s essential for the consolidation of memories and processing of new skills, and for the interpretation of experiences.”

“Sabbaticals give creative people a chance to reanimate their creative lives, explore new interests, and make life-changing breakthroughs.  Together, they help intelligent, ambitious people stay curious, engaged, and productive, and help them lead long creative lives.”

“At first, researchers mainly investigated the benefits of exercise for healthy aging, but studies now show that for people of any age, gender, or athletic ability, exercise can increase brain power, boost intelligence, and provide the stamina and psychological resilience necessary to do creative work.”

“Exercise generally has indirect but positive effects on creativity.”

“Workaholics are more likely than other people to feel anxiety about work when they’re out of the office, and exercise provides an outlet for nervous energy and a different focus for mental energy.”

“We shouldn’t be surprised that people manage to be physically active and do world-class work.  We should recognize that they do world-class work because they are physically active.”

“Because play is voluntary, intrinsically rewarding, mentally and physically engaging, and imaginative, it’s often absorbing and effortless; even when it’s physically challenging or uncomfortable, it’s not difficult in the same way a hard day at work is.”

“Deep play is a critical form of deliberate rest and an essential part of the lives of creative people.  It provides a way to unify what might otherwise be disparate and scattered activities into a unified whole, a life that is greater than the sum of its parts.”

“For creative and prolific people, seeing outside activities as expressions of the same interests that guide their professional lives builds a bridge between the worlds of work and rest and help turn these activities into deep play.”

“Deep play is also striking because even if it speaks to the same profound interests and uses common skills, it also establishes clear boundaries between work and play.”

“Sabbaticals can also play a critical but easily overlooked role in one’s intellectual development.  These don’t have to be the scheduled well-organized sabbaticals that are a prized feature of academic life.  Some of the most powerful life-changing sabbaticals are relatively short.”

“The most fruitful sabbaticals, like other forms of deliberate rest, are active.”

“Yet a weeklong sabbatical can be restorative when done skillfully, and even a monthlong sabbatical can be life-changing.”

“A life that takes rest seriously is not only a more creative life.  When we take the right to rest, when we make rest fulfilling, and when we practice rest through our days and years, we also make our lives richer and more fulfilling.”

“Taking rest seriously requires recognizing its importance, claiming our right to rest, and carving out and defending space for rest in our daily lives.”

“Deliberate rest is not a negative space defined by the absence work or something that we hope to get sometime.  It is something positive, something worth cultivating in its own right.”

“Deliberate rest help organize your life.  It also helps calm your life.”

“Deliberate rest helps cultivate calm.  It deepens your capacity to focus, which helps you complete urgent tasks while driving off anxiety.  It encourages you to work steadily rather than wait for a burst of inspiration.”

“Deliberate rest also gives you more time.  At an everyday level, deliberate rest helps you work more effectively.  It frees time in your calendar by helping you maintain stricter boundaries between work and rest time, and use your leisure time in more fulfilling ways.  By helping you find forms of rest that don’t compete with work, deep play and deliberate rest reduces your sense of time pressure.”

“Finally, deliberate rest helps you live a good life.”

“Rest is not idleness.  When we treat rest as work’s equal and partner, recognize it as a playground for the creative mind and springboard for new ideas, and we see it as an activity that we can practice and improve, we elevate rest into something that can help calm our days, organize our lives, give us more time, and help us achieve more while working less.”

Videos: Creative Insight

While working on the final edits to my long-term photography project, there were days when listening to other artists came in really helpful.  Below are a few favorite, good listens, if you are interested.



Sally Mann:

Interview with Charlie Rose, 2015.  One of my favorite quotes by Sally Mann, “Yes. Again, I don’t know if it’s an intellectual process, although I may ask myself intellectual questions.  I think the difference is that I used to be taking pictures to save things.  The impulse was to either take pictures to save something or to try and see what something would look like when it was photographed.  It was really just kind of an aesthetic exercise, and now it’s a lot more important to me to actually say something as opposed to save something.  I’m working from an intellectual construct and I’m trying to use the photographs in service to a concept, which I didn’t start out that way.”

Another favorite quote by Sally Mann, “I’m frantic.  I don’t waste any time.  I don’t waste time.  I work all the time.  I never leave home.  I mean, I just — I just stay honed in on what’s ahead…It’s the only way.”


Dani Shapiro:

Dani Shapiro: Office Hours, 2017.

Good Life Project, “Writing as a spiritual practice,” 2014.

Marie Forleo, “Dani Shapiro’s Writing Process & the ‘Myth of Inspiration,'” 2018.

A favorite quote from Dani Shapiro, “In order to do what we love — whether we are woodworkers, legal-aid attorneys, emergency room physicians, or novelists — we must first know ourselves as deeply as we are able.  Know your own bone.  This self-knowledge can be messy.  But it is at the center of our life’s work, this gnawing, this unearthing.  There is never an end to it.  Our deepest stories — our bones — are our best teachers.  Gnaw it still.”

Another favorite quote by Dani Shapiro, “It is in the thousands of days of trying, failing, sitting, thinking, resisting, dreaming, raveling, unraveling that we are at our most engaged alert, and alive.”


Elizabeth Gilbert:

TED Talk, “Success, failure, and the drive to keep creating,” 2014.  One of my favorite quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert, “The only trick is that you’ve got to identify the best, worthiest thing that you love most, and then build your house right on top of it and don’t budge from it.  And if you should someday, somehow get vaulted out of your home by either a great failure or great success, then your job is to fight your way back to the home the only way that it has ever been done, by putting your head down and performing with diligence and devotion and respect and reverence whatever the task is that love is calling forth from you next.  You just do that, and keep doing that again and again and again, and I can absolutely promise you, form long personal experience in every direction, I can assure you that it’s all going to be ok.”

TED Talk, “Your elusive creative genius,” 2009.  Another one of my favorite quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert, “And what I have to sort of keep telling myself when I get really psyched out about that is don’t be afraid.  Don’t be daunted.  Just do your job.  Continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be.”

Another favorite quote from Elizabeth Gilbert, “I live a creative life, and you can’t be creative without being vulnerable.  I believe that Creativity and Fear are basically conjoined twins; they share all the same major organs, and cannot be separated, one from the other, without killing them both.  And you don’t want to murder Creativity just to destroy Fear!  You must accept that Creativity cannot walk even one step forward except by marching side-by-side with its attached sibling of Fear.”


Brene Brown:

99u Conference: Why Your Critics Are Not The Ones That Count, 2013.

Chase Jarvis: LIVE: Daring Greatly to Unlock Your Creativity, 2010.

A favorite quote from Brene Brown, “Unused creativity is not benign.  It metastasizes.  It turns into grief, rage, judgment, sorrow, and shame.”

Another favorite quote by Brene Brown, Vulnerability is the birthplace of creativity, innovation, and change.  It’s also the birthplace of joy, faith, and connection.  To create is to make something that has never existed before.  There’s nothing that is more vulnerable than that.”